I love you, Darling!

There it is…red spots and and some tiny blisters on his palms and feet. I can’t see clearly if there are any in his mouth but none on his lips. Immediately we bring him to see the pediatrician. She examined him and confirmed that it’s HFM disease. She gave us the medicine for his mouth and calamine lotion.

Jonathan looks alright so far. He is still moving around but a bit restless. He is not bothered by the blisters in his mouth, palms and feet. We went for dinner after that and he can still finished his rice with bak kut teh soup. I had to lie to him that if he is not eating, we have to spray the medicine in his mouth.

Praying hard that his condition won’t get worst the next day. Praise the Lord, he wakes up this morning greeting me good morning. Gonna feed him some cooling stuff to clear the heatiness.

So there goes our long weekend…at home. Hopefully he recovers fast because we are flying off to paradise the week after next.

Up to you lar…

Few times I posted a question to him and his reply to me was… up to you lar…

Me: Jonathan, do you want to drink chocolate milk or strawberry milk?
Jon: Up to you lar…

Me: Jonathan, when you grow up, you want to be a doctor or a teacher?
Jon: Up to you lar…

Oh, my…where this little boy learn this from?

Oh, no…from me! Quite often “up to you” is my reply to Darling whenever he asked me to make a decision, like where to eat, what to eat, can buy this or not, etc.

I then asked Jonathan…

Me: Jonathan boy, do you know what it means when you say “up to you“?
Jon: It means…”I don’t want“.

Hah! So my son thinks that whenever Mommy answers Daddy with “up to you” means Mommy is angry or disagreeing with Daddy. Clever boy. It is kind of true but not always true because sometimes I am undecisive and it’s so much easier to push the burden of thinking to another person.

Whenever there is a birthday party in school, he will show me the party pack he got and tell me what kind of cake his friends were having.   At this age, he knows how to ask for things.  He told me he wanted a football cake and party pack for his friends. He even tell me what he wants in his party pack.

So I got Jerrica to make a football cake for him. Why football?  I really have not idea. He saw this football cake in Secret Recipe.  That was where is said he wants a football cake ONLY football.  The one in Secret Recipe had a scarf wrapped around the football. So he will always remind me that he wants the football ONLY.

Here are Jonathan’s friend in school.  They sang birthday song to him in 3 languages… English, Mandarin and BM.  Cute fellas. One of the children asked me if I am Jonathan’s sister or mommy. So funny…

Lucky boy is he. Loved by people around him. His cuteness overshadowed his mischievousness.  Never had I in my childhood received so many presents.

Jonathan boy, no matter how mischievous you are, you are always our little boy…our greatest pride and joy. Daddy and Mommy pray that you will grow up to be a God fearing child. We pray that you continue to stay healthy and safe.

And this is how he wants to eat his mooncake.

He finished up the whole mooncake?

Nah…he didn’t.

There was once he got angry when I sliced the mooncake into pieces. Unlike Daddy and Mommy, he dislike the egg yolk. Good…less one person fighting for the egg yolk.

So here wishing everyone, a Happy and Joyous Mid-Autumn. Enjoy yourself with your love ones.

One of this kind of truck stoped beside us at the traffic light while sending Jonathan to school one of the mornings.

And you know what he told me…”Mommy, see the truck got BLANKET.”

For the last 6 months, many things happened and many places we’d been which I would like to share…Jonathan’s progress in school, Jonathan’s music class, our short excursion, an investment we had made,  and many more.  Hopefully in a next couple of days, there will some some interesting post lining up for my fellow blog reader.

Till then, have a nice day!

I received so many reminder FB tags from Merryn to be there to join them at the pool before the dinner. Haha.. By the time we reach there, Jonathan was so tired that it took us ages to get him down into the water.

This was what greeted us as we make our ways to the pool. The rooms are made of logs and I was told this resort is the first and one of a kind to use logs with no nails to join them together. Awesome.

Look at him after he decided to “give in”…..

Jonathan joined Ethan (on the crocodile float) in the fun with William and Merryn watching over them. Both Julie and myself did not bring swimming attire for this. Hehe.

We then adjurned to the room to get the drenched gang ready for dinner. This is how it looks like inside. I feel like I’m back to basic, with the addition of Air conditioning and some touch of luxury.

These are some features of the room we stayed. Love the ambiance to the max.

After freshen up, we met up for dinner in the Nusantara restaurant. The food theme of the day is Seafood in conjunction with Earth Hour 2011. We were informed in advanced that lights will be switch off from 8:30PM till 9:30PM. During this time all guests are invited to join in the fun drawing event themed “Loving Mother Earth”. Guests will be drawing in the dark.

The buffet line up was yummy with fresh seafood all ready to be devoured. LoL. We certainly enjoyed our time there.

For those who would want to get some time out and a good outing for the family without going far from town, this place is definitely one good choice.

Philea Resort & Spa, Ayer Keroh, Melaka is currently having a Family Getaway Package. At RM 1,000 nett for Pavilion Room and RM 1,400 nett for Philea Suite your family gets to enjoy a 3D/2N accommodation with buffet breakfast at Nusantara, a picnic basket, tickets to the Malacca Butterfly & Reptile Sanctuary and of course an unforgettable getaway.

Philea Resort & Spa
Lot 2940 Jalan Ayer Keroh
Off Jalan Plaza Toll
75450 Ayer Keroh
Melaka

Tel : +6 06 2333 399
Fax : +6 06 2332 299

Kuala Lumpur Sales Office
1.02 Level 1, Menara AA,
247 Jalan Tun Razak
50400 Kuala Lumpur

Tel : +6 03 2141 8966
Fax: +6 03 2145 3966

Email : resv@phileahotel.com
: info@phileahotel.com

Visit website for more details

Website Address: http://www.phileahotel.com

At the same time, we got to know that Merryn is heading to Philea Resort and Spa for the Earth Hour event. Julie dropped her a message on FB that we’ll be going to Malacca too. Excitedly she added us into the invitation to participate in the event. Hehe.. So we get to join her in the resort for this event.

We departed on Saturday around half past noon and reached at 2 plus. Good journey with not much traffic. The first thing that awed me was how much the place has changed.

We didn’t waste much time and head straight to the first food in our list, the Chicken rice balls of Hoe Kee Chicken Rice. When we reached there, the queue was “Bearable”.

While queuing, I reached out to my phone wanted to check in to FB and then I exclaimed…  “I LEFT MY PHONE ON THE CAR DASHBOARD”… Rushed back to the car to retrieved it. Good thing it’s still there with the car windows still attached. Phew.. We then waited for about 15 mins and the Si Tau Po asked, do you mind “Tapp Toi” with another couple. Urmm… Both Julie and I look at each other and I say, ok lar.. Would you?

Our meal consists of rice balls, chicken and assam fish. Gobbled down in just minutes. Haha.. We were hungry hungry then mar.

Then we went to quick jalan-jalan (tour) around the place.

We then headed to get our favourite cendol. Not wanting to miss out the famous Jonker 88, darling and I decided to give it a try.

To our disappointment, our tastebuds disagreed to give it a pass. Then we decided to head to the stall which we normally eat and lo behold, they’ve closed shop for the day. *sigh*.. mission unaccomplished. Nevertheless, the adventure during that short tour was rewarding and managed to takes my mind off work.

Well, we then headed to Philea Resort and Spa, which is located in Ayer Keroh.

— end of part 1 of 2 –

Dear Jesus, please help me to give my baby a kiss and a big hug. Tell her Daddy, Mommy and Jonathan kor-kor misses her a lot…

(This is one of the last pic I took of her before her final admission. My favourite pic and we had it on her tombstone. We photoshop away her feeding tube. She was so sweet and perfect.)

Infact, he is nothing different than most newbies. In the first week of school, he asked me to go to school with him, refused to enter his classroom, wanted me to stay with him, held my hand so tightly, sticked to me and cried when I left him there. But he was alright after some pampering from the teacher and principal. Despite that, he still love to go to school. He would come and tell me, “Mommy, I got school today”.

Second week was a total change of him. He put on his uniform all by himself.  I let him take his own sweet time in buttoning his shirt,  while I make up and dress up for work. He went down from the car willingly and held the teacher’s hand, said good morning to teacher and then waived goodbye to me.

He is into the 3rd month of schooling. This boy of mine is still excited about school and I pray that he will always be. But Mommy and Daddy is so stressed out every morning having to wake up a sleepy head.  I try my best not to make him grumpy else I’ll be late to work for entertaining a grumpy kid. When he got up from the wrong side of the bed, he refuse to bath, laze on the bed/couch, refuse to drink his milk, walk like a old man. When cupid strikes him, he talks, wear uniform on his own, take breakfast, carry his own school bag, wear his own shoe.

Funny things or angry moments happen every morning.  Overall, I am thankful and glad. My boy had stepped in to another phase of childhood.

Take this time to bond with family members, forgetting the bitter sour of the past, remember the good times spent.”Sorry” is just a word, but by merely uttering it will power the wheels of “Relieve”,  “Happiness”, and “Harmony”.

Happy New Year everyone!

As we had spent quite a large sum during Samantha’s 1st and 2nd admission in Prince Court Medical Centre, we were quite reluctant to purchase the feeding machine and was requesting if the hospital can give us a loan unit. On the other hand, we were also thinking that Samantha only requires it for short term. We then appealed for a subsidy through GHKL’s Medical Social Work Dept.

While waiting for the appeal which will take quite some time, I then searched the internet for medical equipment suppliers if they have feeding machine on loan. At the end, Hospis Malaysia came into my mind. I called them and my inquiry was transferred to a pharmacist by the name of Aidah. Unfortunately they do not have any feeding machine or pediatric medical equipment.

About 1+ hour later, I received a call from Aidah. She brought me a good news.  She said she then remembered there was an unit of feeding machine at the store from a patient who had passed on. It is still quite new. She said I could loan it for free until if any of their patients needed it.

What surprises me the most was that, how on earth she got my number. I did not leave my contact no. but I did tell her that I have a baby who is admitted to GHKL and requires a feeding machine. She actually made the effort to call up the Pediatric Unit of GHKL and managed to get hold of my no.  So kind of her! God is great, isn’t it? Amen!

The feeding pump loaned from Hospis Malaysia with love

Two weeks after Samantha’s passing, I called up Aidah and informed her that I am returning the feeding machine. That was then Aidah got to know that Samantha had passed on.  We took the opportunity to give a token of appreciation to Hospis Malaysia.

One month later, neither did I expect, instead of receiving just the receipt, it was accompanied with a PERSONALISED letter of appreciation.

We were so touched with their thoughtfulness. They do not know Samantha nor seen her in person but through the letter, I can feel their compassion and care towards not just the patients but also their family.  Tears rolled down my eyes whenever I got to know there are kind souls who love our dear Samantha and care for us.

May God’s love be with you and your family this Christmas. Blessed Christmas to all.

So not used to not having her around. She used to keep me busy – making her milk, sterilizing her bottles, keep watch of her feeding time, administering her medication, bathing her, nappy changing, washing, drying and folding her tiny clothes and organizing her closet.

Missed kissing her, stroking her head admiring her short fine hair, breastfeeding time, massage time, having her chubby cheek resting on my shoulder, watching her sleeping peacefully, cradling her in my arm and singing to her.

Readjusting my life, living without her and to never let the memories of Samantha fade.

In times like this, God’s incredible grace is there to pick us up, to revive lost hope, to heal broken hearts, and to strengthen us.  God has given to me two wonderful man before He gave me Samantha, for a purpose. That is to keep me going and never let me fall today.

I, take u, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse………to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

When the doc told us that Samantha is very ill, Darling and I hold on to each other and said, “Let’s go through this together.” Darling had been very supportive throughout this period of uncertainty and pain. He understands my heart and my need. And now, we have each other to share the emptiness and grieve for our loss.

Samantha @ 2 months

God blessed us with Jonathan to keep us busy. He puts joy and laughter in our heart.  There was no chance for us to drop our tears in front of him.  He now knows that her little sister Samantha is with Jesus.  When asked, he will say, “Samantha is sick and die already. Samantha is in heaven now.” We still talk to him about her little sister Samantha hoping that she will always be in his mind.

Jonathan @ 31 months; Samantha @ 2 months (before her condition started to deteriorate)

Here, we would like to say thank you to all of you for your prayers and concern for our family. I felt so touched by all of your love for Samantha. May God bless you.

Though you were a little not well,
Daddy, Mommy, Ah Ma and Po Po care for you restlessly,
hoping in our hearts you’ll be comfortable all the time.

Jonathan kor-kor miss you very much,
He still thinks that you are in the hospital.
He’ll understand one day that you’re with Jesus now.

Aunties and uncles will always remember you in their heart.

It will be heartaching for Mommy and Daddy when putting away your things and toys.
Daddy and Mommy will continue to draw strength from the Lord.
We will be blessing other babies with your stuff,
We hope you don’t mind.

Dr. Choy, Dr. Winnie and Dr. Shanti cares for you very much,
Do bless them so that they could care for other Mitochondrial babies too.

Samantha, your pain and sickness is now no more,
Jesus has taken care of that,
Enjoy your time with Jesus while waiting for Daddy and Mommy.

God will now continue to write your diary,
Do show to Daddy, Mommy and Jonathan kor-kor when we see you then.

Rest well our darling baby, you will be dearly missed.
Though you are far away from us, you are always close to our heart.
We loves you always.

~ Daddy

She is now in God’s good hand. No more pain, no more fear but joy and peace of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Will be bringing her back to Sitiawan tomorrow, to her Daddy and Mommy’s hometown, for burial.

Samantha…Daddy, Mommy & Jonathan kor-kor loves you. You will be missed dearly…

We admitted her to GHKL yesterday after noticing her breathing rapidly and lethargic. She was not her usual self and she looks weaker and not responding much. Her condition is not getting much better today. Her blood test results are worsening and she doesn’t seems well clinically.

We had a party for Jonathan 3 year old birthday on 10.10.2010.  A belated celebration as his actual birthday falls on a Friday. Some snapshots from the party. More in Facebook.

Engaged a face painter. At least got the kids and adults occupied with something. Check her out here.

Took this chance to meet up with some mommy bloggers…Chanel, MC, Yugene, Merryn , Joanne and Rachel.  Thanks guys for coming and the gift for Jonathan and Samantha.  And it was my first time meeting Chanel and Mchyl. Was so happy when they accepted my invitation.

So what is the takeaway from the birthday party?

No more birthday party for you, boy. I hope…

Our very first party was on his fullmoon. We had a food caterer for both events and the no. of guests was more of less the same. But we were not feeling as hectic as this time.  Kimmy and I were going around entertaining the guests. And you may or may not know that I am not a sociable person and will try to avoid it if I can. So that Sunday was like forcing myself to greet and talk to people I know and worst, people I’m meeting for the very first time. Just doesn’t know what to say and how to make them feel not lonely.  Sorry guys, for being a bad host.

We are planning to send Jonathan to school next year. Not that I think he is ready but I think he needs to learn to be more sociable. I would expect some crying sessions and refusal in the beginning, knowing him, my son! It’s happening in Sunday School.

Another reason (more of an excuse you’d say), I am unable to spend fun-time with him at this moment. My mind have many activities that I would like to do with him but regretfully can’t (if you understand the situation I’m in now). Not wanting him to miss out all these, and so I think sending him to school is another way for him to learn, pick up more things and most importantly, have fun.

And so, a bit late, we are scouting for a school for him. Few aspects that we are taking into consideration when looking for a school for him.

Location
Either close to our house or along our way to work so that either Darling or myself can drop him off school. May be a bad idea because there will be tendency that he refuse to get down from the car.

Time
School must open its door by 7.45am, else we will be late to work. If this is impossible, we have to find a transporter. May be a good idea so that we don’t have to wake the sleepy head up early in the morning.

Fees
School fees can be rather expensive nowadays compared to many years back. We don’t mind paying a little more but must be reasonable. But how much is consider reasonable?

What are other aspects that you think I need to take into consideration?

What are the things that I need to observe or ask during my visit to the school?