As we had spent quite a large sum during Samantha’s 1st and 2nd admission in Prince Court Medical Centre, we were quite reluctant to purchase the feeding machine and was requesting if the hospital can give us a loan unit. On the other hand, we were also thinking that Samantha only requires it for short term. We then appealed for a subsidy through GHKL’s Medical Social Work Dept.

While waiting for the appeal which will take quite some time, I then searched the internet for medical equipment suppliers if they have feeding machine on loan. At the end, Hospis Malaysia came into my mind. I called them and my inquiry was transferred to a pharmacist by the name of Aidah. Unfortunately they do not have any feeding machine or pediatric medical equipment.

About 1+ hour later, I received a call from Aidah. She brought me a good news.  She said she then remembered there was an unit of feeding machine at the store from a patient who had passed on. It is still quite new. She said I could loan it for free until if any of their patients needed it.

What surprises me the most was that, how on earth she got my number. I did not leave my contact no. but I did tell her that I have a baby who is admitted to GHKL and requires a feeding machine. She actually made the effort to call up the Pediatric Unit of GHKL and managed to get hold of my no.  So kind of her! God is great, isn’t it? Amen!

The feeding pump loaned from Hospis Malaysia with love

Two weeks after Samantha’s passing, I called up Aidah and informed her that I am returning the feeding machine. That was then Aidah got to know that Samantha had passed on.  We took the opportunity to give a token of appreciation to Hospis Malaysia.

One month later, neither did I expect, instead of receiving just the receipt, it was accompanied with a PERSONALISED letter of appreciation.

We were so touched with their thoughtfulness. They do not know Samantha nor seen her in person but through the letter, I can feel their compassion and care towards not just the patients but also their family.  Tears rolled down my eyes whenever I got to know there are kind souls who love our dear Samantha and care for us.

In the bathroom after shower…

Jonathan: Mimi, I want put up there. (Wants to hang the shower head on the handle)

Me: It’s ok. Mommy help you to put up there.

Jonathan: No, no…I want put up there. *Started to throw tantrum*

Me: You are so heavy. Mommy can’t carry you. (Imagine a 6 months preggie carrying a 13kg object up to the sky)

Jonathan: No… I want Mimi carry.

Incident #2

Jonathan in the bath tub with Mommy watching beside…

Jonathan: Attempt to reach high up to the soap holder hanging on the wall. Eeeik…..successful! The soap drop in the bath tub. Happily, pick up the soap and start rubbing it on the bath tub, bath toys and wall.

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One night, my conversation with Darling…

Me: Darling, you let Jonathan hang the shower head ar?

Darling: Yup. Why?

Me: No wonder. You know, he ask me to carry him to hang the shower head. How to carry him with a big tummy like this lar.

Darling: *Smile*

Me: Then must be you who let him play with the soap.

Darling:  Ok mah…

Me: As if. He took the soap and rub it on the bath toys lar. If didn’t clean up the soap, it will leave stain on the toys.

Darling: *Smile*

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I know after Darling read this post, he will say the same to me… “Mommy teach naughty stuff too. Eat junk food right after meals.”

Ok, back to the topic. As I am expecting #2, I need calcium. After finishing all the milk samples I received, I bought a tin of Wyeth Mama and placed it together with Jonathan’s milk powder.  I am the one who ensure we have sufficient stock and replenish Jonathan’s milk powder when it runs low.

The drama happened last week. It so happened that Jonathan boy had not been asking for milk before bed time for 2 days and so I did not check if there are still milk powder left in the tin.  The following day, no more milk powder left in the tin and MIL had to open a new tin. You see, Wyeth milk product in tin came with a BLUE lid.  MIL noticed a tin of milk powder with blue lid at Jonathan’s food area and thought that was Jonathan’s milk powder and coincidentally it was still unopened. When she opened it, she was wondering why the scoop is different which is bigger and different in colour. She thought it’s a new formula and continue to make milk for Jonathan.

When I came back from work, I saw Jonathan’s empty milk powder tin and a foil cover in it. I can sense something is not right so immediately open my Wyeth Mama.  Jackpot! It was opened and the foil cover was gone. So Jonathan boy had been drinking Wyeth Mama for the whole day today!  And yet he gulped down everything. 

This is what happen when you are not a fussy eater! *ROFL*

My MIL can only read simple Chinese character and she didn’t really notice the picture on the tin…a pregnant lady vs. a lion.

She was the first mommy blogger that sent Jonathan pressie on his 1st birthday. That year, we exchanged gifts on our son’s birthday and Christmas. It so happen that both our boys’ birthday falls on the same month and just few days apart.

This year, I reminded myself to send pressie to her son before his birthday. But that never happened because the pregnancy hormone made my memory gone wild and made me restless. And so her boy’s present is still sitting on my desk…unwrap even. Nevertheless, she still remember us. I was happy when she dropped me a note that she’s sending over a pressie for Jonathan’s 2nd birthday. So sweet and thoughtful of her.

My dear friend, I thank God for you. May God bless you and your family with happiness always.

Darling : I will sing this song for my daughter on her wedding.

Me : What if you don’t have a daughter?

Darling : I will modify the song to suite my son’s wedding.

I was thinking – What is so great about this song coz my Darling hardly sing?

“I Loved Her First” – by Heartland
Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there’s nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I’m not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she’d find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she’d find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I’m going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

Tears started to drop when I browsed through the 2nd stanza.  This is definitely a great song with very touching lyrics. Now I feel like having a daughter so that her Daddy can sing this song on her wedding.

My aunties cried when they see their daughters being led away by the groom. Yet they didn’t cry when seeing their sons brought home the bride. Funny isn’t it?

Blessings from God which I am thankful for.  I cherish all the moments spent with them. May God bless them with good health.

Happy Father’s Day to two wonderful men in my life,

……My Pa and Darling……

It is not easy to play a dual role in the family. Or maybe multiple role…as a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Daughter-in-law, and more for me who has another home-next-door…Sister, Aunt!

And juggling between work and household matters. At least I am a little blessed that I don’t have to do much house chores as they are taken care by my MIL who is staying with us.

But still, after spending 12 hours or probably more in the office, by the time I reach home and settle down, I do not have much time left for the day before bed. 1 hour? 2 hours? 3 hours if I’m not exhausted yet. 

The little one yearning for a hug and some pampering.  He may be showing signs of tiredness and so it’s time to put him to bed. Whilst, Darling waiting patiently for a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on and some expression of love from me.

At times you fell asleep with the little one.  Pity Darling…no love for today. Well, I owe you, so allow me to keep the debt for tomorrow or the day after. Too much debt!

Worst when the little one is sick, all the attention goes to him.  But when Darling is sick, he must learn to take care of himself. I wish I have two pairs of hands.  Definitely when I have a free hand, my hope that, a little pat on the forehead and a cup of milo with two tablets of paracetamol can make you feel better.

The same may happen to me…It requires understanding, acceptance and support.

Nevertheless, I never forget God’s teaching and the vow we made in front of God…..

……to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…….

Our children shall leave us one day to build their own family.  Who else shall walk thru with us this path of life if it’s not our spouse?

In the past, many women miscarried blighted ovum pregnancies without knowing what had happened. Today, thanks to the technology that an ultrasound can diagnosis a blighted ovum and because of the advancement of technology, blighted ovum is becoming more common. If you are lucky, the unhealty embryo will be delivered via natural miscarriage. If not, you need to go through a D&C which could be something tough to accept. The most hurtful misconception is that there never was a baby. There are many conflicting discussions about the choice of waiting to miscarry (allowing a natural miscarriage) and having a D&C done.

I first learn of this medical term when it first happened to my sis four years ago. She was lucky enough that it got miscarried on the day she was supposed to be admitted for a D&C. I’d also been through this tough time with my first pregnancy two years ago. I waited and prayed for a natural miscarriage but it never happen until the 12th week so ended up having a D&C. Lately, my staff went through a D&C because she was having a blighted ovum.

I truly believe that our style of living contributes to the health of our pregnancy. The food that we consume nowadays are not as healthy as before. The water we drank, the vegetables and poultry we consumed are exposed to a poluted environment. More women are working adults so they are bound to stress and are lethargic.

My advice to all ladies out there who are planning for a baby, to take care of your health and diet at least 6 months before pregnancy. You should begin to consume folic acid and additionally, milk for pregnant mothers. Obviously it is not viable to be on exotic slimming-down plan eventhough your plans for a baby is more than 1 year down the line. You may look healthy but your internal system may not be so.

I was so blessed having beside me my Darling who is so lovingly supportive and bold. Blessed to have the care and concern from my sisters and parents.

On Wednesday morning, while I was preparing his porridge in the kitchen downstairs, suddenly I heard a loud stomp and immediately followed by a loud cry. I knew what had happened and quickly rush upstairs. True enough, Jonathan boy fell down from the bed. How did it happened?

Well, I didn’t realised that Jonathan boy awaken the moment I left the room. Darling was sound asleep so he did not realised it as well. As usual he loves to grab the cock shaped alarm clock on the side table. I guess when he was trying to reach out for the alarm clock, he lost his balance and fell head down from the bed. His forehead touched the floor but both his leg were hanging in the air leaning against the bed. There was a slight bump on his forehead only but his upper lip were swollen and the inner lip bled a little.

I was so afraid that he may not be able to eat so I try to breastfeed him. Thank God, he was fine. It’s not that he had never fall before…those are minor fall which are part and parcel of growing up but this is falling from another level of height. We have been very careful all these while when putting him on the bed and I always remind myself never ever let him fall. I guess I always take it for granted that it’s ok to leave him on the bed since he is looks sound asleep and Darling is sleeping beside him.  I’m so sorry, Jonathan boy. Mommy would be more careful next time.

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote aquick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag.

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.”   
“I’m on my way,” she said.

She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the basket, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.

She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list.

She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.” And he did…without another thought.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

The husband just said “I am with you Darling“.

The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery  store,  Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50.

How she wanted that necklace and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, “Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an  awful lot of money. I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy you the necklace and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for  the necklace. And don’t forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too.”

Okay?” Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her.

Jenny worked on her chores very hard everyday, and sure enough, her Grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls.

How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere – to kindergarten, bed, and when she went out with her mother to run errands.

The only time she didn’t wear them was in the shower – her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green.

Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story.

One night when he finished the story, he said, “Jenny, do you love me?”
“Oh Yes, Daddy, you know I love you,” the little girl said. “Well, then, give me your pearls.”
“Oh daddy, not my pearls!” Jenny said! . “But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?”
“Oh No, darling, that’s okay.” Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. “Good night, little one.”

A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, “Do you love me?”
“Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you.” “Well, then, give me your pearls.”
“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She’s my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy,” the little girl said to her father.
“No, that’s okay,” her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss, “God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams.”
Several days later, when Jenny’s father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling.
“Here, Daddy,” she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father’s hand.

With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box. Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had them all along.He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.

So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure.

Isn’t God good?

Are you holding onto things God wants you to let go of? Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities you have become so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe  this one thing……………..

God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.