There gone my 2 weeks of annual leave. Thinking of having to go back to work tomorrow really make me sick, but I can never get really sick enough to warrant for a medical leave. I wonder why some people could love their job or employer so much until they look forward to working the next day. I am not saying that I am working for a lousy employer.  I have an employer that pays me well with above average benefits.  He gave me fair increment and good bonuses so far for the last 4 years. Well of course that was also because I am a good performer each year. 

Wrong job? Nope. I graduated and work in this field for the past 10 years. No regret.

I guess it is the people that I am working with. They think that I am the most important person who holds all the information where nobody else can access.  It is as though in their directory, they only see my contact number but no one else. I can hardly take a day off without receiving calls from the office. You see, certain things can be delayed until I am back. Certain puzzle can be solved if they independantly take the initiative to find out how. Certain reports can be requested from me earlier without waiting till the final minute. I have to sacrifice my sleep just to be early in the office to get the last minute request done. At times, I have to stay up in the office to after 8pm for meetings/discussions. All these frustrated me. But being a responsible employee, I still obey and get those things done.

I can’t accomodate to these so flexiblely nowadays compared to years ago because I have a husband who is waiting to kiss me goodbye before he leaves for night shift work and a son at home who is waiting to call me “Mommy”. Soon I will have a baby waiting to suckle my engorged breast. Where is the work-life balanced?

I told my mom recently of my intention to leave after I’ve delivered, either to be a SAHM or find a less stressful and time consuming job like a receptionist or clerk. She, knowing the amount of bonuses I received each year, with her dollar sign eye ball, says, ”Are you sure you want to leave and for-go the many months bonus you can receive?”

Sigh…it’s all about money. Why should there be an existence of money in human life which then created so much problems…crime, theft, bribery. How or where can I find peace and happiness at the work place?